★ Eunhyuk's BB (cutecrazyice) wrote,
★ Eunhyuk's BB
cutecrazyice

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confessions

Everything was perfect,
everything was so arranged.
My life was in order
…until you came.

I never planned for you
to come into my life;
to fill my mind,
my thoughts;
to make your place in my heart,
to stir my soul.
...you just did.
One minute, I never knew
what love was.
And now…

I understand it too much.

I understand the distinct feelings
of happiness,
of inspiration,
of hurt.
You taught me all that
and so much more.
You opened my heart,
brightened up my senses;
made a claim, a mark
in my life.
It would have been okay;
perfect, even,
if you stayed.
…but you didn’t.

You couldn’t.

You left
just as suddenly as you came.
Just as silently.
Just as strongly.
You left because
you had your reasons;
reasons that
I wasn’t a part of.
Couldn’t be a part of.

You left me alone.

You had a past,
one you could never share;
not with me.
It’s not that
I wouldn’t understand
when in fact, I would.
It’s just that, for you

…I will never be enough.

You may have touched my heart
fully, deeply...
but I don’t think
I have touched yours.
You wouldn’t let me.
You stayed away, and you left
because you had to;
you needed to.
Unlike me,
you couldn’t open your heart.
You couldn’t share it.

Not with me.

Because someone else
already owns it;
someone else
already has claims on it.
I understand that.
I do.
I understand
that I could never be that someone;
I could never be
the one.
I understand.
But it hurts still.
Yes...it always will;
knowing that
I could never measure up.
Knowing that
although you’ll never be mine

…I’ll be loving you still.

I may not have lost myself
while loving you...
but I sure as hell
have been scarred inside;
and I wonder…
will this ever be over?

I don’t know.

And right now

...maybe it’s better that I don’t.

Tags: brigit's flame, confessions
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